Turtley Awesome: Welcome!

So maybe one or two of you noticed that I haven’t really been around much lately. I finally started my student teaching a few weeks ago and have been totally balls out busy since. Of course, even though I’m working full time as a teacher (plus doing extensively fancy complicated lesson plans and other associated paperwork), student teaching doesn’t pay anything! So, I need to continue working other jobs to pay the bills. I’ve still got weddings every week and am teaching fighting and climbing most other nights. Generally speaking, most days I’m home and awake for about 3-4 hours, most of which is spent doing work or eating. I of course work on the weekends too. Needless to say, my gaming time and free fun time in general has greatly diminished. But I’m not writing this to whine about it. (more…)

At NYCC I ended up interviewing Dan Abnett about the Warhammer 40k Ultramarines movie that’s on it’s way out soon. I’m not the biggest 40k guy but Dan was awesome and I’m now planning to start reading some of his books/comics . If you’re not a 40k fan, you might still find the interview interesting as we talk about the creative process involved in dealing with an existing franchise and how the transition from writing for the page to writing for the screen plays out.

Dan Abnett Interview On Youtube

In my never ending quest to weasel my way into the good graces of every gaming company ever, I found myself running player events at New York Comic Con for Wizards of the Coast. We don’t get paid, but it’s a pretty good deal; run a bunch of D&D (or other WotC products) with randos, and they pay for you to go to comicon and give you a bunch of free product. With NYCC especially, seeing the show doesn’t take nearly all weekend, so you get to see pretty much everything you want in the time you aren’t working. I played a lot of stuff, saw a bunch more and on a more personal tip, was totally drunk most of the time. It was a pretty glorious weekend all around. (more…)

If you don’t like Castle Ravenloft you either have no interest in games that aren’t brown cube pushers or you are an idiot. Seriously. I’m not saying you are an idiot for having bad taste, though you surely do, but rather that almost 100% of the complaints I have heard about the game boil down to a total lack of understanding about what the game sets out to be and what you can expect to get out of it. Castle Ravenloft is not Descent. Castle Ravenloft is not D&D. Castle Ravenloft is a super streamlined dungeon delving smash job that plays in about an hour. The rules are fast and loose and gloriously fun. “Oh but the only thing I expected was fun, and this isn’t fun.” Well, all I can say to that is sure, “fun” is subjective, but if you can’t have fun playing this game, then not only are you still an idiot, but also a total square.

Full review after the jump…

I dunno why, but lately I’ve been seeing a lot more fun hipster mocking all over the webs. I must say, lately I have been mildly taken aback by how “hipster” has become the new “emo”. Dudes need to step up their insult game; if you hate on “hipsters” you’re either just as much of one and into slightly different shit or you’re just a total L7 hater with no taste in anything.

When it comes to jokes though, clearly the best is hipster superheroes from Caldwell Taylor on College Humor. But that’s not all we’ve got to offer… More hipster mocking inside…

So yet another new feature in an attempt to clean up my postings and make the site more appealing for those interested at all in what I have to say: Victory Through Commerce! Despite my limited funds, I find all sorts of glorious things I would like to buy. VTC is sort of my cultivated wishlist for mostly extravagant items that I would greatly enjoy owning. This week’s shopping trip is devoted to one of my favorite designers: Fred and Friends. see some samples of their totally rad stuff after the jump…

Leaping Lemmings is adorable. It’s got cute art and a silly, though sort of morbid, theme where you are attempting to get your family of genetically engineered lemmings to leap to their death in the most spectacular way. Mechanically, one of the big selling points of the game is that it’s an easy way to get your wife, kids and non-gaming pals to step into the world of war gaming since it has that silly theme and straight forward game play while simultaneously introducing basic concepts like hex to hex movement, zones of control and chit stacking limits.  However, Leaping Lemmings is not really a game for wives and children; it is a brutal murderfest of in your face pugnacity that will have you reaching across the table to slap someone while threatening to choke the next bald eagle you see. Seriously, Steven Jr., watch your fucking back. full review after the jump…

In my never ending quest to try and figure out exactly how I want to format the site, I’ve decided to start a new feature – Miscellaneous Mondays. I don’t want TA to become some kind of link aggregator, but there is so much fun stuff on the webs that I want to share with all six people who read the site. So now you can look forward to a single weekly post of all the dumb stuff online that makes me smile… jump into the interwebs

When I was a young nerd I was always kinda bummed when I saw cars with bumper stickers proclaiming their child’s greatness at the honor roll and other academic foolery. First off, my school never gave out such stickers and second, my mom wasn’t about to put any stickers on her car anyway. So I was left to proclaim my own intellectual greatness via automobile only at stop lights in the summer when people had their windows down. Now that I’ve seen these stickers, I’m glad they weren’t around when I was a kid because I would have exploded with impotent fury when my mom refused to honor my gaming accomplishments for the world to see. That would have been WAY worse.

via: Wil Wheaton

So while searching for a suitably interesting wedding gift for some friends of ours ( no way am I getting them some boring muffin tins or something) I came across this chess set. I saw the link to an “erotic chess set” and thought, oh I bet it has weiners and such, fun. Well, even my filthy mind was blown when what I found was a bunch of goat men (satyrs for the especially nerdy) boning down and angels riding on giant cocks. Wowza! This is a wild ass chess set. The pic at top is literally the only one that isn’t just over the top dirty doggin. A few totally NSFW pics after the jump, but really, you owe it to yourself to follow the link cause every piece in this set is just glorious.

Also, if anyone knows where I can find a chocolate fountain shaped like a dong, let me know!

set your jaw to dropped…